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It's 1997, and Jenny Mc Carthy appears behind a crowd of several dozen men in an MTV studio, wearing a tan lace-up shirt and grabbing her own ass. To understand dating-as-sport TV, we have to start with the date itself.
After two more rounds, one that was stunt-based and another that was question-and-answer, a "couple" was born.
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Dates as we know them first became popular about a hundred years ago, when courtship rituals moved outside the home and into the public arena.
A weeknight is good for first dates because a Saturday date is too laden with formality and expectations. That one can be dinner or something more involved…and not a movie! Take this in stride because it happens often enough.
A first date is merely a chance to see if there is enough mutual attraction for a potential second date. If you do, your membership card to Club Charisma is instantly revoked. If it’s a weekday date after work, you should dress reasonably well. Standing out with good clothes is a serious hallmark of a confident man. Once the kiss is done, hit that second venue and don’t speak of the kiss again until the end of the date. Dates are about the time spent together, not the activity you might be doing. Despite the kiss ( or even the seduction), despite your perceived attraction from her, it’s her decision to bail on the second date.
No matter what her age, there’s at least a 50% chance she will flake. The worst flake is when she simply doesn’t show up with no notice at all. If you have a casual work environment, think seriously about changing beforehand. As you’re meeting in a public place, arriving early is not a problem because it gives you time to observe other people in a social environment, that’s a learning opportunity. If your date is obviously not going well – for whatever reason – that phone call will save you without an awkward way out. As you’re a smart online dater (link below), your profile contained honest and realistic photos. Going for the kiss is a bold and confident maneuver. You’re giving the impression that such kissing is perfectly normal to you… I’m going to bow out of the seduction potential at the end of the date. It’s also your decision to do the same and pursue your other options. When a woman states that you’re not the one, you’re done. If you don’t like it, you’re not ready for Dating 2.0.
A good flake will involve a counter offer via voice or text. Tell her you’ll call her another time (you won’t) or ignore the text. Arriving just a few minutes late is also an option because it signals to her that you have a full and busy life. “Oh crap, I have an emergency I have to deal with, I am so sorry.” It’s a nice excuse and protects feelings. Your date, however, may have very well posted much older photos or even photoshopped photos. If you’ve bounced to a new venue, a second date is almost guaranteed. In fact, at our age, it’s rather unseemly and pushy. To secure it, take her firmly in your arms and go for the kiss. That’s not my style (as my first dates will attest) because I’m over a certain age. But remember that while women are the gatekeepers to sexuality, men are the gatekeepers to commitment.